So many unknowns

Well, there's been a lot going on right now. Ryan and I were married on June 5th, 2010 at 2:00 in the afternoon. It was a beautiful ceremony, and we couldn't be happier together. We've been settling in and getting the proper paperwork taken care of to change my name. Things are just now starting to settle down a bit.
It's been a bit of a struggle for me lately, though, because we're in a sort of limbo phase right now. I'm in the process of looking for a job, and we're trying to figure out where we will live when our lease is up in 6 months. Because we live in an income restricted apartment, as soon as I get a job we'll no longer qualify to live here. We've been looking around for some possible apartment contenders, but it's a little difficult to search for an apartment when you don't exactely know how much you'll be making at the time of renting.
We've seen this one apartment we really like, but we won't be able to afford it unless I get this job that I'm in the process of being interviewed for. Everything's looking pretty good so far. They've interviewed me twice, and they are checking my references right now. It's just so nerve-racking because I feel like a lot depends on my getting this job. Ryan's been so wonderful with trying to calm my nerves about this job, and trying to help me see that if this job falls through that there will be another job. He's been a big support and is helping me to stay grounded. We'll see what happens with the job and apartment situation. I'm trying to remember to trust God and hold to His promise that He will always be with us and provide for us. I just have to be patient right now and try not to go insane!

The day before the wedding...

Tomorrow at 2:00 in the afternoon, my life will change forever. In just a few hours, I will be walking down the aisle to Ryan, and we will be joined as husband and wife. I can't even believe this day has come. I never expected to meet someone with as beautiful a heart as Ryan's. He's my best friend in the whole world, and I'm so in love with him. You know you've met "the one" when they know who you really are, and they still love you anyway.

This morning I finished putting some final touches on my vows. As I read them and imagined what it will be like to utter these very words to Ryan tomorrow, I started to well up with tears. What an amazing man he is. I know he would probably feel a little embarressed by my saying so, but he's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I am so very thankful to be marrying the love of my life and my best friend. What a wonderful gift from God. It's always been my contention that the love between two people is an illustration of the way God loves us. Ryan has given me a new understanding of how deep the Father's love for us is. His love is the kind that is present, even when you're in a bad mood. Even in times of irritation and aggravation His love is strong. His love is the kind that misses you even before you've left. How blessed we are as a Creation to have a God that loves us with such a forgiving and unconditional love. I am so thankful to Him for that love, and for showing it to me in a new way through Ryan.